Mailbag
28 Sep 2001

Mailbag by David Dayton

David Dayton
Photogenic

Got something you want us to answer next week? Send it to tmk_mailbag@kontek.net.

    Tubba Blubba is really out of shape. He ought to lay off the Boos. ... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAoh I crack myself up.
    -LuigiHahn

David Dayton: How droll. Really. I am rolling in laughter. No, I'm not just being sarcastic.

    Hello
    -Adam

David Dayton: Hello. Wordy, aren't you?

    I have cameo of mario in the comedy/history "Good night sweetheart" where the main charatcher says"If you press this button, the mustache guy jumps on the mushroom person" I think what he was saying is about SML1 and this was on a gameboy chunky[classic].Well,if you want it, you can have it!
    -DWTMatthews

David Dayton: I have learned much, young grasshopper.

    i heard somewhere that was a secret fourth level in smb2 (usa) (super mario all stars). is this true? if it is, can you tell me how to get to it?
    -vidgmchtr

David Dayton: No, there isn't. Are you talking about the "Lost Levels", perhaps?

    That Mario Tennis picture of Yoshi and Birdo getting affectionate is very incriminating, in my opinion. I mean, we know that Birdo has that whole trans-sexual thing going on. Is he a woman's trapped in a man's body, or was he a man who had a sex change, or what? I can't keep up... clearly he or she is into experimentation. And meanwhile, ever notice that in that same game, Yoshi's racket releases rainbows? Rainbows?! And good lord, are they even the same species?
    What kind of freakish relationship is Nintendo depicting here??? And don't get me started on my theory of Princess Toadstool's royal harem. End transmission.
    -IQpierce

David Dayton: Okay, time to clear up some misconceptions...
First of all, there is a little thing known as "lousy translations" and "idiot localization teams that don't realize silly jokes added into a manual may cause millions of impressionable youths to question the status of a reoccuring character."

1) Birdo, the main character that has appeared often enough, is female. It is not male. Yes, the U.S. manual said that Birdo "thinks he is a girl"... the U.S. manual for Metroid says Samus Aran is a guy. The U.S. manuals of the Zelda series contradict the story as presented by the game... in other words, IGNORE THE STORYLINE AS PRESENTED BY THE MANUAL!
2) Birdo is some kind of dinosaur/dragon thing. How do I know this? It has no fur, just a smooth skin covering. This sort of limits it to the catagory of a reptile... and it isn't much of a stretch to assume that it is a female dragon/dino of some sort.
3) Yes, Yoshi's racket unleashes rainbow streaks. See Yoshi's Island or Yoshi's Story. The rainbow streaks pale in comparison to the day-glow imagery in those titles.
4) Princess Toadstool's royal harem? You aren't one of those weirdos that sketches naked Mario characters and submits them to Yahoo groups and Ezboards, are you?

    In FF3 th esper Starlet uses Group Hug when summoned. Peach in SMRPG also uses group hug. Coincidence? I think not.
    -SSJ3Fred

Paul Harvey: And now you know... the REST of the story...

    In the last Mailbag someone asked if Yoshi spoke English.  And you mentioned something about him speaking English in a comic.  Well didn't he also speak English at the end of Super Mario 64?
    And also, there is an allusion to Donkey Kong in Metal Gear Solid for GBC.   When you unlock the special level select with alternate objectives, in one level you have to make your way up a mountain with barrels bouncing and rolling down the mountain.  Also the path is a zigzag, kind of like DK.   If you would like I can get the name of the level and how to unlock it .  (I haven't played in a while so I don't know off the top of my head.)
    -Dan the Man

David Dayton: Yoshi can speak or somehow communicate with Mario, which implies he can somehow communicate in English... but you'll notice that Bowser also transmits info in English text boxes but only vocalizes in growls. It's just for effect. Don't try to figure it out.
Yoshi noises -Yoshi sounds like he does in SSB and SSBM because that's what he sounds like in Yoshi's Story. I think Yoshi in the future will have a mixture of Zips from SWM and moans from YS.
Hmm... I need to finish MGS...

    You guys really have to update the mailbag more. You completley skipped one, and the aug. 3rd one hasnt shown up yet. Is an info page about DK JR really more important? I get DSL in a week, so If you will allow it, I can answer the mailbag from time to time!!! of course I dont know anywhere near as much about Mario as you guys do, I can still help.
    -DragoonFenix15

David Dayton: Hmmm... all I can say is that we have things to do at times...
I suppose the fact that this message is from early August doesn't help. You see, mailbags are crafted as often as possible. However, we need money. So, send us money and you will get more mailbags.
You want to do a mailbag? Why not create a Mario text adventure instead? Go to www.ifarchive.org and download a text adventure creation system, then make a Mario game. Hey, why doesn't EVERYONE do it?

    Dear Nintendo crew, Can you please Make Super Mario Bros.3 for gameboy color Please? because I Like Mario.
    -Craig

David Dayton: Naah.. how about the Game Boy Advance instead?

    I had been playing the credits to Ocarnia of Time in the background of my computer, and just as I reached last week's mailbag "memorial" page, the song broke into the part where Malon sings a very sad Epona's song. It was very touching.
    -Qeomash

David Dayton: Are you sure you weren't sending this to the mailbag of the Zelda Headquarters (www.zhq.com)? Wait... I think they went offline a while ago... perhaps it IS meant for us!
On a side note, I have the entire ZHQ archived web site stored on my hard drive. You'd be amazed at the number of files, codes, images, sites, and more I have... just in case the sites die.

    Did you guys notice how SMBHQ is gone? What's up with that? Do you guys know them very well? Were you buddies?
    -JoshOpus

David Dayton: Let's have a moment of silence for all the great dead game sites out there...
TSR's NES Archive...
Nintendorks...
The Zelda Headquarters...
David Dayton's Nintendo Cod--wait a sec... that's merely on extended leave of absence.

    Dear Whoever is doing the mailbag this week:
    Have you guys at TMK saw some news at cube.ign.com about Square saying good things about Nintendo, Dezzer and staff members of TMK, if you didn't see it, the people at Square expressed interest in making Final Fanstsy X (sorry about the mistake) for GameCube. If it does come maybe they might remake their SNES games and Super Mario RPG, oh RPG fun (drools). P.S. Oh, I don't hate Sonic but a copy is still a copy.
    -Matt Koopa

David Dayton: Square is odd. They yap about how much they love the Gamecube, and the Game Boy Advance, yet that's the extent of it. Any company that big that pushes Wonderswan Color games is just...well...stupid. As far as Super Mario RPG goes... it was developed as a joint partnership between Square and Nintendo -I think they own equal rights in the title. Which means... er... Nintendo might be able to release it for the GBA themself without Square...
But I'd rather see a new Mario RPG game... more like Paper Mario.

    deezer, do u really look like the drawings of you?
    -A First-Class Moron

David Dayton: I've seen Deezer's drivers license... trust me, the picture is an improvement.
Anyone that mentions my picture dies.

    Sorry, I _just_ thought of it when I sent my last e-mail. 4. When I was about 8, my best friend brought a Nintendo Power mag on Mario 3 to our babysitter's house (on her good days, she let us play Nintendo). Anyway, he claimed that among other things he had read was that there was a secret World Nine you could get to if you used all the whistles right in a row, without entering a level at the Warp Zone. I now know that's not true, and World Nine _is_ the Warp Zone, but did Nintendo really commit such a faux pas, or was it a case of "I heard tell..."?
    -NTG85

David Dayton: I own that guide. No, they never said such a thing.

    On to the questions...
    1.) I just noticed Smash Bros Melee has got one other addition: Zelda. But what's ZELDA doing there? It never even has been playable before, so what's the point on adding her?
    2.) Also, what's the point on adding BOWSER? He's a boss. Not a playable character. With this I don't doubt they'll throw in something like Ganon, Dedede, Mother Brain...
    3.) Adding a modem can be good for GameCube, but it could also be pointless. An online Smash Bros or Mario Kart can be cool, but 2 thing they forget (or remember VERY well) are the PHONE BILL and BUGS. What do you think?
    4.) Did you notice how sometimes when characters jump into N64 the result is horrible? Mario only did that technically once (In the rest of the games he's either in a kart or you only control him in mini-games), and it was disastrous (Humiliating for a hero to play a BOARD GAME to decide if he's better than, as an example, Waluigi, Daisy or Peach.). Happened with Zelda (Majora Maskie), Kirby (Kirby's Air Ride, 64), Pokémon (It was always horrible but Stadium/2/3 is shameful), and didn't even happen to Metroid and Earthbound. What's the future of Mario in GameCube if already started out, he's replaced by Luigi and ghosts that aren't even Boos? What to say of the Felix the Cat "ghost doctor" guy??
    5.) Lastly. Yes, I noticed how Miyamoto-san is a pathologic liar/merchandising guy. First the metallic clothing thing (Metal Cap) then Luigi in Paper Mario goes like, "I'll never have my own game. It would have my name on the title..." (Luigi's Mansion). P.S.: Make a new Interview with Mario. Thanks to Mario Party and the other silly sport games (even though cool), It'd be so sad it'd be funny.
    -Hirozaki

David Dayton: On to the answers...
1) Why not add Zelda? She took on a major role in The Ocarina of Time, and she is the one for whom the series is named. Sheesh...
2) Bowser has been playable in many Mario games... oh, and I'm willing to bet that King Dedede is playable in SSBM. Why? Because when the developers did an interview about the original SSB 2 years ago, they said that original plans called for a few other characters, including Bowser and King Dedede.
3) Unless they find a way to make it cheap to play, or get us to ignore bills, modems are in big trouble. Sega tried offering free server time if you payed for the Internet connection -but it can't afford that.
4) You say Majora's Mask is terrible -and thus I refuse to even read the rest of the question. Majora's Mask and Link's Awakening are my two favorite Zelda games. David has spoken.
5) Question five makes no sense. You say The Great One is a liar, then show examples of him telling the truth. You seem confused as to the meaning of "lie". Have you been taking lessons from a certain Mr. Clinton?

    "David Dayton, Sony hater?"
    Hey David Dayton, you have sony too? I'm glad to see I'm not alone. But a lot of my freinds are getting a PS2 (even though it sucks) before they get a gamecube. I ask why, and they say "Because I'm sick of Mario" I am a little tierd of him myself, But I love RARE and Donkey Kong and Conkers BFD, plus Super Smash Bros Melee, and all the others. I've been with nintendo all my life. Im never going to "convet" to another gaming "religion" if you know what I mean.
    How about all of you Mailbag answerers? Do any of you get sick of Nintendo games? mainly Mario or Zelda. Another thing, why does everyone hate SMRPG and love Paper Mario? I thought PM was good, but NOTHING compared to Mario RPG. I always play SMRPG on my SNES. My current team is an all attack mario, an HP / Magic Peach, and an all Magic Mallow, whose Shocker attack does about 600 damage! Paper Mario was fun, but didnt have all the greatness of SMRPG. So why is it so good?
    and about that Flash movie I was going to make (yeah, its me, remember?) I am going through a writers block/not in a flash mood phase now. Probably when I get back in school I will get back into it. both those kirby movies I made in school, then when I got home with my new comp, I lost my flash mojo! hopefully I'll get it back!
    -DragoonFenix15

David Dayton: For the record, I despise Sony. Thank you.
Super Mario RPG good. Paper Mario BETTER.
If I ever got sick of Nintendo games, I'd not be answering these mailbags.

    Could you show me a picture of how a game loads into the NES?
    -Yoshi21

David Dayton: I am very confused by this one. You want a picture of how a cartridge fits into the cartridge slot of the NES?

    I have a few questions to ask.
    1.What happened to the fan art section? It never updates I used to laugh at them all now it's borring looking at the same pictures.
    2.Did you ever notice that Miyamotos art is different then other Japanese artists? Why is this, it sorta angers me.
    3.Why is Nintendo becoming gayer and gayer? First they come out with Paper Mario(rainbows, suns, and paper), then they title the new Mario game Mario Sunshine*cough fruity cough*, and last of all they call Gamecube, Gamecube Nintendo. That makes no sense, I was thinking of contacting my congressman about this or something.
    4.If you are looking for anyone to draw any art like Dragon Ball parodies with Mario people or anything, contact me. I'm open.
    5.Where on earth can i find a arcade rom of the Super Mario Bros V.S. and the last question
    6.When does the Mario Candy come out?
    -Debbi Kyer (c6yr2001@sssnet.com)

David Dayton:
1) Fan art? I assume it needs more submissions. Deezer? You there?
2) Miyamoto studied art in school... er... and he has imagination?
3) You speak badly of Paper Mario? For this outrage, I refuse to answer this question.
4) If anyone wants to, I made sure to include your e-mail address so they can contact you.
5) I could tell you, but I would be hunted down by the FBI and Nintendo. Even worse, I would make Shiggy sad.
6) Mario Candy? Why would you want it? You complained that the other names were "fruity" enough, yet you want this one? Tsk tsk tsk...

    Hi TMK, I have a question abou a Gamecube game.
    What the heck is Mario Sunshine? Acordint to Super Mario 128c it does not exist. But then you got those pictures of it. Anyway, I thought the only Mario Gamecube games for a while were Super Smash Bros. 2 and Luigi's Mansion. Anywho, what is Mario Sunshine?
    -Ann H Reed-Speer

David Dayton: Mario Sunshine is the next game in the Super Mario Bros. series, the sequal to Super Mario 64. A few seconds of footage were shown at Space World, and it is scheduled to be released in the summer of 2002.

    Just in case you are not inundated with other messages stating this fact, Foreman Spike's Japanese name is given in Wrecking Crew '98, that nifty but obscure SNES puzzle game. A character who could only be Spike is labeled as "Blacky" (or was it "Blackey" ?) in the end credits. (He's also pretty hard to beat fast enough to open up the bonus levels, but that's another story.)
    Also, wasn't there a Rumble Pak-enabled version of Mario Kart 64?
    [And check out http://www.uwm.edu/cgi-bin/foxmj/ti994a_vis.pl if you're interested in the TI-99 version of Donkey Kong.]
    -Jorpho

David Dayton: My hats off to you. Hmm.. I'm surprised they didn't replace Spike with Wario in Wrecking Crew 98...

    Why do all you people hate other consoles than Nintendo? Personally I like Sega better, but Ninterndo has some good games as well. Don't judge a console by who makes it - play the games first!
    -Maarten van der Zande

David Dayton: You misunderstand me. I don't hate the CONSOLES, I despise the COMPANIES that make those consoles. I don't like Sony for various reasons, and am annoyed they are trying to take over a market they still know nothing about. (Look at that weird fireworks game they made for the PS2... Sony knows NOTHING of game design). I still have a grudge against Sega because of those inane commercials from the early 90's... seeing people act like morons and then expecting me to buy a product because I "want to associate myself" with such idiodicy somehow makes me annoyed. Sega scream... bah... Nintendo always had a much more dignified approach, and sold games I enjoyed. I still prefer the Mario and Zelda games over anything available on the other consoles. The only games on the Sony stuff I enjoy are the Resident Evil series.. and those are now coming to the true system of gaming goodness...heheh...
Yes, I'm a fanboy... and proud of it!

The Mushroom Kingdom \ Mailbag \ 28 Sep 2001
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